Sunday, 20 November 2016

Descriptive writing

My favorite burger is cheese burger. It smells like cheese, chip, and ham. It tastes like cheesy pickles, and tomatoes and ham. It feels squishy and soft. It sounds like crunchy, munch and it looks like a sandwich because It has a top and a bottom.
By Katara

I waited and waited by the pizza oven. I could smell the melted cheese as it drifted up my nostrils. Suddenly it was ready the chef brought it here. When I had a bite of it I could taste the sweet tomato and the melted cheese together . This is how you can eat a pizza you fold the crust with one hand then fold the point then you eat it . My favourite  bit of the pizza is the crust because it is crispy and a little bit burnt. Pizzas are a circle when no one has eaten it. They also are a triangle when it is cut. Pizzas smell a little bit burnt sweet pineappley and very cheesy . When you bite the crust it sounds crunchy. Pizzas feel bumpy because the toppings cover the base. It also feels soft when there are no toppings on it.
By Estella

We were walking home from school. We finally arrived and I felt really excited. Bandit felt as soft as a soft toy or hair. He sounds like patter patter and he is loud.  He feels heavy and he felt excited. He felt as soft as a bunny. He looks small like a rat. He has big black puppy eyes. He smells like soap. He sounds loud barking. I could taste him being excited.
By Charlie

Fire works
I like spending time with my cousin. My cousins dad lit the fireworks. I can here screaming in the hallway. The taste of fire came into my mouth. It's like wasabi. The big bomber goes bam and boom in the sky.
By Max


  1. Hi Max, I liked how you used the senses to describe your firework night. You must have been very close to taste the smoke...i hate wasabi.
    By Ruby - Rimu Team

  2. Hi Charlie, Bandit sounds like a awesome dog. I like how you used a lot of descriptive language to describe bandit.

    Charlotte B Rimu Team

  3. Yo Max, i like how you said what the firework sounded like and how you what the fire tasted like.
    tom.p Rimu team

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  5. Hi Estella,
    I really liked the describing of the flavors and textures, I really felt like I was there. When doing some more writing try to use comas.
    By Alex - Rimu Team

  6. hi max. I like how you said you could taste the fire and it tastes like wasabi. also I like how you described screaming.
    Kieran :)

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  8. Hi Estella
    I like how you used really really juicy language like "The melted cheese drift up my nose. And how you used your senses to describe the feeling of the pizza. I wish I could have the same pizza as you because it sounds yum!

    By William T- Rimu Team

  9. Hi Katara
    Your favourite burger sounds delicious. Are burgers your favourite food? I love how you described the ingredients it makes me hungry just reading it. By Olive- rimu team

  10. Hi,Katar I love you description and your use of senses.I like how you used similes.

  11. I like how you used your senses like "He smelled like soap" and how you put how they felt

    William T- Rimu Team

  12. hi Katara i liked how you said every thing it had in the chessburgers
    Luke-rimu team

  13. Hi Charlie Bandit sounds like an awesome dog and I like how ypu used your senses.
    From Harrison